Last week, a friend told me about a meeting at work. She wanted to challenge a decision that went against her sense of fairness, but when her manager asked if anyone had concerns, she stayed quiet. Everyone nodded, the meeting ended, and from the outside, it looked like she was a team player. But she went home with a knot in her stomach, restless and irritable. She kept replaying that moment, knowing she had abandoned her own honesty for the safety of approval.

That’s what compass-loss looks like.

We often call it confusion. We say we don’t know who we are, or what direction to take. But most of the time, it isn’t confusion at all. It’s the ache that comes from drifting away from the principles that make us feel alive.

Your compass isn’t the job title, the dream goal, or even the passion you keep hoping will strike like lightning. It’s your core values, the non-negotiables that whisper: this is who I am, and this is how I want to move through the world.

The trouble is, most of us learn to set them aside early. We trade freedom for approval. We trade honesty for safety. We trade creativity for security. We trade rest for achievement. And slowly, without noticing, we start carrying someone else’s compass in our hands.

From the outside, life may look perfectly fine. You get praised for being reliable, accomplished, and strong. But inside? Something feels off. Like you’re living in a life that technically works but doesn’t feel like yours. That dull ache is the cost of betraying your compass.

Think back: the moments you’ve felt most alive weren’t always the “big wins.” They were the times you acted in alignment. When you told the truth, even when it cost you. When you choose the creative option instead of the safe one. When you rested without guilt. When you stood firm instead of staying silent. Those moments had a different texture. They felt clean, energized, and undeniably yours.

Purpose is less about discovering something brand-new and more about remembering what already matters, then returning to it. Without those anchors, every option looks equally possible—and equally overwhelming. That’s why decision-making drains you. But when your compass is in hand, choices begin to sort themselves out. They stop being “right vs wrong” and become “true vs betrayal.”

So how do you get back to your compass? Try this:

1. Write down three moments in the past year when you felt most like yourself.
   
2. Beside each one, note what principle was at play—honesty, freedom, rest, creativity, belonging.
   
3. Circle the one you’ve been neglecting most, and make one small commitment this week to honor it again. 🖊️
   

It doesn’t have to be dramatic. If it’s rest, give yourself one evening to pause before you’ve “earned it.” If it’s honesty, tell the truth in one small place where you’ve been avoiding it. If it’s freedom, say no to something that doesn’t sit right.

Because here’s the truth: you don’t need to reinvent your life to find purpose. You don’t need a grand plan. You need to return to the values you’ve been abandoning in order to survive. Until you come back to them, no direction will ever feel like yours. But once you do, clarity follows, decisions feel lighter, and your life begins to align not with what others expect, but with who you already are.

With Love,

Lydia