Last week, a friend told me about a meeting at work. She wanted to challenge a decision that went against her sense of fairness, but when her manager asked if anyone had concerns, she stayed quiet. Everyone nodded, the meeting ended, and from the outside, it looked like she was a team player. But she […]

Last month, we explored the ways emotions—reactivity, shame, and miscommunication—can pull us away from ourselves. But those patterns don’t just disrupt our relationships. Over time, they bury our clarity and cover the sense of direction we long for. When we’re constantly reacting to life—defending ourselves, trying to prove our worth, or avoiding discomfort—we lose touch […]

It was a Sunday afternoon, the kind where the house is full of voices, clinking plates, and the smell of chapati and beef stew drifting in from the kitchen. We were all gathered in the living room, mid-laughter, when one of my older relatives looked at me and said with a smile, “So… when are […]

People throw around “emotional intelligence” like it’s just knowing the right thing to say under pressure. Like if you can pause, stay calm, and respond politely, you’ve mastered it. But that version of emotional intelligence? It’s often just emotional self-policing. It looks good, it sounds wise, and it leaves you quietly exhausted. Real emotional intelligence […]

Have you ever felt something in your body that didn’t match what was happening in the room? Like someone made a simple comment, and your chest got tight.Like your partner raised their voice a little, and suddenly it felt like your whole body was under threat.Or you were in a “safe” space, but your hands […]

You’re in the middle of a conversation. Someone makes a casual comment—maybe they correct you in front of others, joke about something you’re sensitive about, or shift their tone just slightly. Suddenly, you feel a wave of heat rise up your chest. You snap, or shut down, or tear up before you even understand why. […]

There’s a kind of grief that doesn’t have a funeral. You don’t wear black for it. There’s no choir or casket. No one says, “Sorry for your loss.” But you feel it, in the tension behind your eyes at night, in the heaviness of your chest on slow weekends, in the way you replay old […]

You meet someone kind.He shows up.He listens.He remembers the little things you said in passing.There’s no drama, no chasing, no guessing. And instead of melting into it, you find yourself pulling away.You start overthinking, overanalyzing, maybe even trying to sabotage it a little.You tell yourself, “I should be grateful,” but quietly wonder… “Why am I […]

As a coach—and a Black woman who’s journeyed between continents, cultures, and contradictions—I’ve sat with enough women to notice a painful pattern: We crave love deeply… but we were never taught how to love ourselves first. And nowhere is that tension more obvious than in how we talk about love languages. First, Let’s begin with […]

Have you ever sat scrolling through old pictures or voice notes, and feel a little dizzy at how familiar it all seems? Not just the face, the pattern. The energy. The way you keep ending up right back where you promised yourself you’d never go again. We don’t always pick the same person. But somehow, […]